34-year-old refuses to let 68-year-old dad move in after he repeatedly insults daughter-in-law over dinner: 'He said he was being honest'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 23, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

While there are plenty of exceptions, many of us assume that when we fall on hard times, our family will be there to support us. These circumstances may not be ideal, but they can be just the thing that somebody needs to be helped back on their feet. It is also a common scenario in families, especially when it comes to parents helping out their kids. The reverse doesn't always happen as often, but it can prove just as vital.

Whoever may be looking out for that lifeline, a key part of the process is showing some gratitude for what is being offered (so long as the hosts are deserving of it). This is where the arrangement can begin to get complicated, as people start overstepping boundaries and acting in ways that those they depend on find unacceptable. As the old saying goes, it isn't wise to bite the hand that feeds you.

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  • 01
    bearded older man sitting in front of a white wall outside
    via serjan midili

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This didn't stop one man from ruining his opportunity to move in with his son and his wife after he repeatedly insulted his daughter-in-law over a dinner she had made. The couple had initially agreed to let him stay with them temporarily after he had some financial struggles.

    However, after this berating deeply upset his wife, the son went back on the agreement and told him that he wasn't allowed to move in. His dad thought he was ungrateful, and his mom was pushing him to change his mind, so he wanted to know if he had gone too far.

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    AIO for refusing to let my dad move into our house after he made my wife cry during dinner?

    My dad (68M) has been struggling financially, and he asked if he could move in with me (34M) and my wife (32F). We discussed it and agreed he could stay temporarily if he respected boundaries.
    via 4fr41d_P4ck_4661
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    woman cries on a couch with a blanket over her knees
    via Blake Cheek (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    Well, on his very first night over for dinner, he started criticizing everything. He made a comment about my wife's cooking being "too bland," then joked about how she "let herself go" since our wedding. My wife excused herself and cried in the bathroom. I told my dad his comments were cruel and uncalled for. He just shrugged and said he was "being honest."
    via 4fr41d_P4ck_4661
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    After that, I told him he couldn't move in after all. Now he's calling me ungrateful, and my mom says I should "s_k it up" because "he's your father." But I can't put my wife in a position where she's disrespected in her own home. AIO for refusing to let him live with us?
    via 4fr41d_P4ck_4661
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    Outsiders fully supported the son's decision.

    Boobookittyfhk NOR He can be as honest as he wants and say whatever he wants to say, but that does not make him immune from consequences. It is so sad that a man gets to this age and just now is learning the concept of FAFO.
    via Boobookittyfhk
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    He literally walked in and tried to take over; he did it on purpose to establish his dominance. He picked the most vulnerable person in the room and immediately zeroed in on her. This man is a bu y. There is absolutely no reason for that honesty other than to hurt her.
    via Boobookittyfhk
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    Your mother's opinion is completely invalid because it's not even any of her business to begin with. If they are still married, then that is her problem and she should quit dumping her issues on other people. If they're divorced, then she shouldn't be butting in with her opinion anyway because it's not her business anymore. She also doesn't get to dictate your wife's comfort and level of responsibility for this. She is not entitled to make decisions and sacrifices on other people's behalf. If sh
    via Boobookittyfhk
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    BlueSkyMourning NO The time-worn excuse of "just being honest" while disparaging and insulting others even in their own home. He was being hateful and acting as if he's king of the hill. Kudos to you for standing up for your wife! I bet if your dad got some mega doses of "honesty" like he dishes out, he'd be squealing like a stuck pig.
    via BlueSkyMourning
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    Like how sad it is that he's such a loser at 68 that he can't even provide a roof over his own head. Doesn't feel so good I bet when he's on the receiving end. If you let him move in he's likely to continue the behavior, when you're not around to see and protect your wife. Let him make other arrangements. Bu lies like him rarely take on someone they think is equal to them. Keep your hero cape on, you earned it. Net Auntie saying, well done!
    via BlueSkyMourning
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    Known-Skin3639 Remember the old rule growing up? My house, my rules. Well, it's now YOUR house YOUR rules. If he can't abide by those rules then he doesn't have the right to live there. I mean the threat of going to live elsewhere if you didn't follow HIS rules has come full circle. And your mom? Sorry dude but she should let him move in with her if that's her attitude. You, my friend are within your every right to refuse
    via Known-Skin3639
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    his request to live with you. You and your wife deserve the same respect as he demanded ( if he played that sh in you) and if he can't respect your house then he can go live in a park bench or under a bridge. You are totally NOT over reacting. You are demanding the same respect as he did. Tell your parents they both need k it up and live together. to s
    via Known-Skin3639
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    Gloomy-Increase-8726 NOR. Your dad is a complete j that sees no problem with abusing your wife at a simple dinner. I can only imagine the kind of marriage ending things he'd say and do once he's installed in your home. It sounds like your mom is volunteering to take him in, since it's no big deal to her. Stand by your wife and your firm no.
    via Gloomy-Increase-8726
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    GoblinandBeast NOR, your dad just showed you on day one that he will not be a pleasant house guest. This behavior will not stop and will most likely get worse and eventually you would have to choose between your wife or father. Don't let him lie and say "I will do better" because any improvement he shows will be temporary.
    via GoblinandBeast
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    bythebrook88 and my mom says I should "s kit up" because "he's your father." Your mom should s k it up and invite your father to live with her - because he was once her husband?
    via bythebrook88
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    LilacmistWaltz NTA dude, family or not, respect is a 2- way street. If he can't treat ur wife right, it's no surprise u don't want him in ur crib. Straight up, ur house = ur rules. Stand ur ground bro, ur wife needs ur support rn. Keep it 100, fam 100
    via LilacmistWaltz
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    BerneDoodleLover24 NOR - it is good that you protect your wife. Nobody wants a bu y as a house guest. Your Mom can take him or shut up. You don't have to „sk it up". Why should you? Your Dad needs your and your wifes help, so he should at least show respect and courtesy. You don't owe him.
    via BerneDoodleLover24
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    PibbyandPekesMom No- your wife comes first.Just because he's your father doesn't excuse his behavior. Let him move in with your mother then.
    via PibbyandPekesMom
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    SPXQuantAlgo Nope, if “being honest" means making your wife cry on night one, then he can be honest from his own couch.
    via SPXQuantAlgo
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    GraceOfTheNorth Absolutely not! He is immediately showing how ungrateful and entitled he's going to act and that he does not intend to respect your wife in her own home. He was trying to establish a pecking order and it failed miserably. You might lose your marriage if you let him in.
    via GraceOfTheNorth

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family drama dad family daughter in law marriage moving in wife relationships aio dinner reddit thread Reddit son
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